Although infidelity produces significant emotional agony, it does not have to signify the end of your marriage. Learn how to rebuild a marriage after an infidelity. When both spouses are devoted to genuine recovery, most marriages survive, and many relationships become stronger with greater levels of connection.
Infidelity occurs when one spouse has an affair with another person. Although this behavior is harmful to the sanctity of marriage, it is not inevitable that the marriage will fail. In fact, research shows that nearly half of all infidelities are committed by only 10 percent of married people. If you are the partner who has an affair, you need help too. Professionals who specialize in marital counseling can guide you through the difficult process of rebuilding your relationship from the ground up.
Marriages can be restored after infidelity if both parties work hard at repairing their relationships and learning to trust again. It's important for couples to understand that although infidelity is extremely damaging, it is not fatal to the marriage. Many marriages have survived an infidelity event. It's also important for spouses to know that there are effective ways to heal from an infidelity incident. Therapy offers an ideal setting where partners can open up about their feelings and learn how to move forward together.
Spouses who have been unfaithful need to seek out counseling so they can address their issues with intimacy. An affair leaves both partners feeling lonely and desperate for love.
Although infidelity produces significant emotional agony, it does not have to signify the end of your marriage. Learn how to rebuild a marriage after an infidelity. Few marital difficulties bring as much heartbreak and sorrow as adultery, which destroys the very core of marriage.
If you are genuinely contemplating staying in your marriage and working things out after adultery, recognize that working through trust difficulties that arise as a result of the betrayal is a lengthy process. You'll also need the appropriate tools to rebuild. Couples therapy, relationship counseling, books, or online programs are all options.
Hurt sentiments are understandable after such a severe betrayal, but there are numerous benefits to remaining together after an affair has hit your marriage if you are resolute. Here are seven ways that overcoming infidelity strengthens a marriage.
It shows that your love is bigger than his indiscretion It may not be easy to believe at first, but staying together after an affair proves that your husband or wife is worth it. Even if they decide to return to their original partner, they will see that leaving you was the wrong choice. This shows that no one person is more important than the other, which is a valuable lesson for any young couple just starting out together.
It teaches commitment You may not have been happy with each other at the time of the affair, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't stay together. By showing that you can stick through thick and thin, that you're willing to make sacrifices for your spouse, and that you value the relationship enough to work on its problems, you teach others that marriages can change but they don't have to break up.
It demonstrates that forgiveness is possible After an affair, it may feel like the only thing you can forgive your husband or wife for is having an intimate relationship with someone else, but that's not true.
Few marital difficulties bring as much heartbreak and sorrow as adultery, which destroys the very core of marriage. However, not all marriages can recover from infidelity, especially if there are children involved.
Adultery is illegal in most countries, including China, India, Israel, Japan, Malaysia, Mexico, Morocco, Pakistan, Palestine, Philippines, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, Sudan, Syria, Tunisia, United Arab Emirates, and Yemen. In some countries, like Italy, Indonesia, Romania, Russia, Serbia, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, Ukraine, Vietnam, and Zimbabwe, it is considered a serious crime that can lead to imprisonment.
In North America, Europe, and Australia, divorce is the preferred way to deal with infidelity, but in other parts of the world this is not always possible or appropriate. In some Islamic countries, for example, one cannot divorce one's spouse, because it would make him or her unable to find employment. In others where tribal laws apply, such as parts of India, leaving the husband or wife out of loyalty to a friend could be interpreted as cheating on them with the person who has been betrayed.
Betrayal is a powerful force that can destroy love and trust.
The love you have for your spouse, as well as the affection they have for you, has most likely been diminishing over time, which might be one of the elements that lead to the affair. But, if there is still love, despite the grief, rage, and guilt, there is possibility for recovering after infidelity and even growing stronger as a partnership.
It is possible to recover from infidelity and restore the trust that was once there. However, it will take work on both parts - yours and your spouse's. You will need to examine your own feelings about the affair and any involvement that you had in it. Were you justified in feeling betrayed? If not, then you must forgive yourself for having those feelings.
It is important to remember that your spouse was just as hurt by the affair as you were. Allow them to grieve their loss and feel your pain without trying to fix things or fill the gap that was created when your trust was violated. Give them time to come back to you.
Once you have worked through your issues with infidelity, it is possible to build back your trust together. Start by being honest with each other again. Don't hide anything that happened during and following the affair. Let your partner know that you are sorry and that you will never do this again.
Spend time getting to know your spouse again. Show them that you are still interested in them and what makes them happy.
Couples that choose to stay together after infidelity understand the value of relationship commitment and forgiveness, regardless of whether the affair was physical or emotional. Counseling is offered for couples who want to mend their relationship and move on. Many people are successful. Others decide that ending the marriage is the best option for them.
Here are some other factors that may influence how a couple decides to deal with the issue of infidelity:
If the affair was very serious, then it's not uncommon for the heartbroken partner to want nothing to do with the person that they believe to be responsible for inflicting pain that they cannot yet begin to heal from. This decision can be difficult for both parties to bear, but it does give each person space to process their feelings.
People who have affairs usually feel like they lack something in their relationships. They may seek attention and affection through sexual relations with others and believe that what they're feeling isn't being returned by their spouses. For these reasons, an affair often leads people to question whether or not their lives will ever be the same again. However, if the affair is out in the open and there is no hope of it being kept secret, then people can become angry and hurt that their privacy has been invaded without permission.