However, it is critical to recognize that the no-contact rule will not help you re-establish a good connection with your ex. If your relationship was shattered, or if you and your ex had major problems, the no-contact rule will not help you repair it. When there are significant issues between you and an ex, the only way to move forward is by communicating openly and directly with each other.
In addition, even when there are no issues between you and your ex, the no-contact rule is important because it allows you to maintain some distance and avoid getting hurt again. If you're not giving yourself time to heal, then you could be in for another heartbreak down the road.
Finally, no matter what type of relationship you have with your ex, whether it's romantic or not, the no-contact rule is essential for its success. In order for things to change or move on, there has to be communication and openness between you and your ex. If one of you shuts out the other, then nothing will change.
So, can no contact save a relationship? Yes, as long as you use it correctly!
Let's take a moment to discuss why the no-contact rule will be especially beneficial in your situation. You had a significant disagreement with your ex-boyfriend, which resulted in a split. On both sides, nasty things were spoken. There was a lot of anger and resentment stored up after years of being together, which is normal after any relationship ends this way.
However, what isn't normal is that he has not taken the time to get over you yet you still feel like him seeing other people is hurting you. This is where the no-contact rule comes into play. It is very important that you follow this rule completely until you can communicate again without feeling hurt. Otherwise, you might find yourself slipping back into old patterns, which only hurts both of you even more.
In order for this rule to work, there cannot be any contact between you two whatsoever. Phone calls, texts, emails, etc. all must be avoided if you want to maintain your space. This is so that he does not have access to your feelings or able to hurt you by simply being around you. Give him time and space so that he can move on too.
The purpose of the no-contact rule is to utilize it as a detox program to clear up any ambiguities in your connection with your ex. Staying away from your ex will be difficult at first, but it will boost your chances of getting back together with your ex in the end. If you have been separated for a long time then it is even more important that you follow this rule.
You should avoid all forms of communication with your ex including phone calls, texts, and emails. You should also avoid going to their home or workplace. This rule is necessary so there are no doubts about your intentions. Your goal is to remind them of your breakup and show that you are willing to move forward without them.
No contact does not mean silent treatment. You should communicate with your ex via letters or online chats. You can use these tools to share your feelings and get feedback from them too. This type of relationship requires constant maintenance because once you stop communicating completely then you may never be able to go back again.
Some may be wondering, "Does No Contact Work?" While each ex is unique, the No Contact Rule increases the probability that your ex misses you and wants to see you again. In essence, it will demonstrate to them that you are not always accessible to them when they need you and that you have your own life to live. It shows that you are willing to let them go in order to move on.
The goal of No Contact is to show your ex that you are committed to moving on and not giving them attention or space in your life anymore. This will make them want to get back together with you!
It's recommended that you start seeing progress within the first few weeks of following this rule and then maintain a strict schedule for several months before considering taking any breaks from it.
Here's how No Contact works: You refrain from all forms of communication with an ex either directly or through a third party. This includes texting, calling, emailing, etc. You also don't attend their events or spend time with their new friends. Essentially, you are ignoring them until they ask you to stop the ban.
No Contact gives your ex time to miss you and want to get back together. This shows that you are committed to moving on and not letting things linger long after they should have ended.
It's important that you follow through completely with No Contact so that it has the expected effect on your ex.
I've worked in the relationship-recovery field for over two decades and have seen just about every scenario conceivable. So, I don't want to seem like I'm making a sweeping generalization or oversimplifying anything when I say that, sure, the no contact rule is the best way to deal with the end of a short-term relationship.
The problem is that most people get into trouble right from the start because they try to apply this rule to a relationship that wasn't healthy to begin with. If you're not ready for a real relationship then it's better off if you stay friends rather than trying to force things to work out. It's also difficult to maintain your no contact policy when you see each other again after starting something new.
The bottom line is this: You need to know yourself and what type of relationship you want before you even think about trying to enforce a no contact rule. Otherwise, you're just going to cause more problems than you solve.