If the notion of arguing or disagreeing with your partner makes your heart race, it's time to shift your mindset from afraid to open. According to Nikki Martinez, PsyD, LCPC, your first order of business should be to become comfortable with the uncomfortable and recognize that communication is the cornerstone of a lifetime love affair. "The more you can learn to listen with your mind as well as your ears," she says, "the better prepared you will be for any relationship challenges that may come your way."
Arguing is simply a part of any intimate relationship. In fact, studies show that married people argue more than those who have never tied the knot. This is because marriage requires two people to work together through their differences instead of only one person being willing to compromise like in other relationships.
Arguments are also important for keeping intimacy alive in a relationship. When you communicate your needs and desires openly with your partner, there's no room for them to hide things from you. You also give each other freedom to make decisions without feeling forced, which helps keep marriage fresh over time.
Finally, arguments are fun! No matter how bad they get, there's always a solution that can be worked out between partners who want to fix their problems.
So yes, you can have an argument with your spouse.
There will be instances when your viewpoint on an issue is so diametrically opposed to your spouse's that you are taken aback. Allow it to be, and agree to disagree. As a pair, you must acknowledge that no one wins when one of you is always correct, according to relationship counselor Lisa Schmidt.
Your partnership will experience ups and downs. They are all correct. "True love goes on a dirt road," as Elvis Presley once sang. However, in order to maintain your bond as holy and powerful as it should be, avoid involving others in your relationship troubles.
Provide feedback. When your partner does something that irritates you, don't remain silent and seething. Inform your spouse about the problem and offer a more productive approach to do, say, or mend things in your life together. Consider disagreement to be a natural aspect of marriage, rather than something to be avoided.
"When you marry, you also have each other's parents and siblings—or even children—as sources of support," Krawiec notes. "Married persons have a larger pool of prospective supporters." However, that is not the same as friendship, and mistaking one for the other can lead to marital problems, according to Krawiec.
Maintain your composure and firmness. While an arguing spouse may make the other partner want to be negative, it is advisable to avoid any verbal or physical aggression. The partner on the receiving end of the disagreement should maintain their cool and pay attention to what is being said. This will help them come to a resolution without further arguments.
If you are in agreement with your husband/wife, show it by your actions and words. Don't argue about something that isn't important. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and share these stories with each other often. This will demonstrate that you love each other even when you disagree!
Do not discuss issues with your partner that need to be resolved privately. Arguments are not meant for public displays of hostility; hide your feelings when necessary. This will help you both avoid more conflicts.
Try not to take things personally. Your husband/wife does not feel threatened by you, they just want to have their point of view heard. Try not to assume the worst about them; maybe they just got into an argument with someone else about this topic and were feeling sensitive about it.
Remember, openness and communication are the keys to resolving any issue between two partners. Open up discussions about each other's opinions without judging them, and you'll be well on your way to fixing any problem in your relationship.
Why Is It Worth It to Share Your Emotions With Your Spouse? It is far simpler to convey your thoughts, the academic material stored in your brain, than it is to share your feelings. It requires emotional risk and fortitude to share the depths of your heartfelt sentiments. However, this is an essential part of marriage. Without sharing your emotions with your spouse, you will never know how they feel about you or your relationship.
Spouses need to communicate their feelings to one another because this is how relationships grow and improve. When we are honest about how we feel, we can work through our issues together. Also, by expressing ourselves, we give our spouses a chance to understand us better. This helps marriages stay strong and healthy.
Sharing your feelings also makes you feel less alone. When you tell your spouse what you are going through, even if only internally, you are being human again instead of simply acting like everything's fine. This takes some pressure off of them to always be there for you when you need them the most, which gives them a break from being responsible for keeping you happy all the time. It also shows them that you value your relationship enough to want to work through any problems that may arise.
Last, but not least, sharing your feelings with your spouse allows them to help you deal with your issues.
In severe circumstances, one spouse will refuse to communicate with the other. This might be a significant issue if you want to salvage your marriage. Often, one spouse will try to persuade, coerce, or encourage the reluctant partner to speak up more.
Communication is key in any relationship, but it becomes even more important in marriages where happiness and stability are concerned. If one spouse is refusing to communicate, it's important for the other to understand what's going on inside this person's mind and heart.
Spouses may refrain from speaking out of fear. They might believe that if they complain about their husband or wife, there will be no end to it. So they keep their mouths shut for peace' sake. Or perhaps they don't want to cause trouble by arguing with each other every time they have an opinion about something.
Whatever the case may be, failing to communicate changes a marriage from one based on love to one based on coercion. In such cases, none of the choices available to the spouses are good ones. They can either stay together and suffer, or go through with divorce. However, if they are willing to work at their marriage, they can still have a happy ending.
Marriages need communication between partners for them to function properly.
Marriage is difficult, and disagreements are unavoidable. When there is stress in a marriage, unsaid or unresolved hurt may accumulate, and tiny disputes can quickly grow into full-fledged conflicts. Everyone has their own triggers, and our partners may frequently set us off in ways that no other person can.
However, having an argument with your spouse means that you cannot resolve your differences peacefully. Instead of working through issues together, you are focusing on what divides you instead. This only adds more tension between you, and may even cause the problem to get worse over time.
Arguing also sends a message to your partner that they are not important to you. If you cannot resolve your differences peacefully, then how will you ever resolve them honestly? You should always try to work out your differences calmly and rationally, without anger or resentment. This shows your spouse that you love them and want the best for you relationship with them.
Finally, arguing in your marriage means that you are not trusting your partner enough to let them know how you feel about things. Do not expect your spouse to read your mind, they can only guess at your feelings based on what you say and do. Asking questions such as "How did you feel when..." or "What made you say that?" can help you both understand each other's needs better. Then, you can discuss these issues together in a calm and rational way, rather than letting them build up into arguments.