Normally, no. Sometimes one or two of them will become long-term friends, but not usually and certainly not the majority of them. People change when they graduate from high school. They grow and change, meet new people, and live various lives. When they finish high school, so do you.
This doesn't mean that you should stop keeping in touch with your old friends. It's important to maintain relationships even after you've stopped being close friends, because these other people also play a role in your life. They may be able to provide guidance if you need it, give you recommendations, or simply just be there for you when you need them.
In fact, maintaining relationships with former classmates is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It gives you support when you need it, help find a job, go to college, etc. Without these connections, many young adults would have a hard time getting ahead in life.
The most important thing is that you don't focus only on the positive aspects of keeping contact with your old friends, but also remember their negative traits. Maybe some of them were always doing well in school, but didn't provide much insight into their future plans. Or maybe they moved away without saying where they went or if they'd ever come back.
"Every friendship has a life cycle," explains social psychologist Dina McMillan. In other words, don't worry about your friends if they aren't there for you anymore. Focus on developing new relationships instead.
While college is one of the simplest places to meet friends, once you graduate and are separated by jobs or time zones, you will most certainly lose some of your closest day-to-day pals. "It's a natural transition for a young person to lose high school or college pals." Tina B. Schwartz, PhD, author of Living with Loss: How to Live With and Beyond Your Grief.
Here are some other things that can happen to you after college: You may feel like you no longer have anything in common with your old friends. In many cases, this is because you don't. They may be doing interesting things with their lives while you're going straight through life waiting to be forgotten. Maybe they've found something new to care about (or not cared about before) and want nothing to do with people who used to hang out together. Whatever the reason, keep in mind these people aren't bad or wrong for changing and moving on with their lives. It's what everyone does.
You may see some of them from time to time but that's all there is to it. They probably haven't seen you since you dropped off the face of the earth back then. This doesn't mean that they don't think about you sometimes but it does mean that you weren't important enough for any of them to drive down out of their way just to see you again.
Finally, you may remain close friends with some of your old college buddies.
Even the folks you believed would stick around and develop alongside you may just be passing through. There is no contract between friends that states that once you become friends, you are friends for life. So, just though friendship isn't always lasting, that doesn't make it a negative thing.
True friendships do not perish. If they do, they are only temporary social bonds. Even if you lose contact or only see each other every few years, a real friendship, which is formed by something like a huge shared life experience, lasts a lifetime.
People are hesitant to drop friends, presumably because they do not want to be dropped. Nonetheless, it occurs. Dorree Lynn, a psychologist who works in both Washington, D.C. and Florida, believes that as individuals reach the age of 50, they reevaluate their relationships.
1. Breaking up with a buddy Lynn notices that people desire to "fire" their pals. Our companions evolve as we do, as do the things that bind us. "Their kids may have gone to the same school, but they no longer have anything in common," she explains. Or maybe they've lost interest in the activities they used to enjoy together.