Do you have to tell your partner what your needs are?

Do you have to tell your partner what your needs are?

All of these requirements are equally valid. Your spouse, on the other hand, will never know what your wants are if you don't tell him. You don't have to start a first date with a checklist, but once things are going well, it's fine to remark, "I want you to feel loved and valued." Then go into more detail later if the mood strikes you.

It's important to be clear about your needs early in a relationship so that your partner doesn't spend all his time trying to meet them instead of finding out what they are.

In general, men are told not to ask for what they want, so they might not like being told they can't have something. Women are told they should always be happy, so they might not like hearing that some things aren't that easy to get out of someone else.

The truth is, both men and women need to be given space to grow and change as people do. Some things may seem obvious now, but others not so much. By talking through these issues early on, a relationship has a better chance of surviving long-term.

Do you have a needs list for your relationship?

If you want to have a long-lasting, happy, and rewarding relationship, figuring out your requirements is a valuable exercise. Why do you need a needs list in your relationship? Going into a Safeway without a grocery list is akin to not knowing what you need. You don't have a list on paper, no memo on your phone, and you don't even have it in your thoughts. That's why people who are good at relationships -- or who have good relationships -- make lists of what they require from their partners.

Relationships are all about give-and-take. You should be able to identify the requirements of your relationship with your partner and meet them so that you continue to enjoy each other's company. Only when you know your needs well enough can you ask your partner to fulfill them. For example, if emotional support is one of your requirements for a relationship, then you should be able to express this need to your partner. He or she should understand what you mean and try to provide it whenever possible.

The first thing to remember is that everyone in a relationship has needs, including your partner. Your job is to be aware of these needs and try to meet them as often as possible. This way, you and your partner will always be satisfied and ready to move forward with your relationship.

Needs change over time as relationships develop. For example, when you first meet someone, physical appearance is likely going to be one of your main concerns.

Do you have to be dependent on your partner to be happy?

You should be relieved that they are not completely reliant on you for affirmation and fulfillment. In a good relationship, you should never be hesitant to ask your spouse for what you need, which might sometimes include a little more comfort and affirmation.

However, most people would say no, you cannot be happy if you depend on someone else for your sense of worthiness and value as a person. You have to find ways to satisfy these needs yourself. If you are used to being taken care of by others, then you will probably want them to keep this role even after you are married. But once these needs are met, then you should be able to move on to greater things.

In conclusion, yes, you can be happy without being dependent on your spouse.

How to tell your partner he needs to step up?

If you don't tell your spouse what you need, you're robbing him of the chance to grow in the relationship. Check in with your spouse and let him know exactly what you require. Do you want him to contact you every day, or do you want him to make time for you throughout the week? Be specific, and give your spouse the opportunity to be heard.

The best way to tell your partner he needs to step up is by showing him. Give him a chance to prove himself by doing something great for you. It could be as simple as letting him know that you appreciate him even though he may not be acting like it right now. Or maybe you want him to take the lead in more situations around the house. Whatever it is, give him a chance to show you how much he loves you by doing something great for you.

After you tell him what you need, be patient. Don't expect your spouse to read your mind and know exactly what you need. Show him you are willing to give him a chance by giving him time and space. If he doesn't take advantage of this opportunity, then you should have a conversation with him again. Tell him how you feel about his behavior and ask him if there is anything you can do to help him grow.

About Article Author

Kim Swofford

Kim Swofford works with couples on the brink of divorce, helping them save their marriages. She is eager to help her clients make their relationships work again. Kim believes in the power of love and wants to spread that message through her work.

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