That doesn't mean you shouldn't seek for your father; it simply means you should step gently so you don't inflict any needless suffering. If you have any doubts, seek a second opinion and consult with a relationship coach.
Looking for your father may involve going to his workplace or school, looking up information online, or contacting family friends or relatives who may know where he is. Avoid doing anything that might cause him pain - such as showing up at his house unannounced - until you're sure this is the right thing to do. Be prepared for the fact that he may not want to be found!
As long as you remain civil to one another, looking for your father will not cause any further problems between you. It's best to address these issues head on instead of hiding them from view. This way you won't end up ruining what little remains of your relationship.
Don't assume that your biological father doesn't love you or wants to see you. Also, don't assume the opposite. Always approach your inquiry with an open heart and a logical mind. The moment you discover your biological father is one-of-a-kind, special, and sometimes emotionally draining. It's easy to make judgments about someone you've never met, but the more you learn about your dad, the more you may realize that you didn't know him at all.
Finding your biological father isn't always easy. There are many factors that can prevent you from discovering his identity. Maybe he had no idea who the father was either. Or maybe he chose not to tell you because he felt like it wasn't your story to tell. Any way you look at it, finding out who you biologically are does not necessarily mean that you will understand each other well. However, even if you don't agree on much, you still have some things in common - such as sharing the same DNA. So, whether you realize it or not, you both have a unique relationship with regard to family history.
If you want to find out who your father is, the first thing you need to do is identify the type of relationship you have with him. Are you close to him? Do you appreciate what he has done for you? If so, then he must love you. If not, then you should not feel bad about moving on with your life.
It hurts a lot not to have your father's affection. And that hurt might stick with you for a long time, making you less likely to look for a mate. "Having a negative connection with your father may lead you to not allowing other males to become emotionally close to you," Alaburda added. "You might even avoid having relationships altogether.""
The study also noted that people who didn't get along with their fathers were more likely to drink alcohol and use drugs. They were also more likely to have sexual partners outside of marriage and more likely to break up with someone before marrying them.
Finally, they found that people with absent or negative fathers were more likely to live in poverty.
In conclusion, the study found that people who didn't get along with their fathers were more likely to drink alcohol and use drugs.
"Having a poor relationship with your father may lead you to not allowing other men to get emotionally close to you," Alaburda said. You may feel yourself acting aloof or withdrawing into a shell. In either case, it can make dating difficult. It can also affect how you parent your children by creating a lack of emotional support at home.
You may not need another father; all you need to know about him is that he exists. You may have grown up without a father. Or perhaps you had a stepfather who wasn't all that loving—or who wasn't really a father figure at all. In any case, not knowing who your biological father is may have left an impression... You may be a little shy around men because you're not sure how they'll react to you. Maybe you think they want to control you or abuse you. Or maybe you just don't trust them.
Whatever the reason, if you don't know this man and he hasn't taken the time to get to know you, then he can't be your father. He might think he knows you well enough by seeing you on television or in magazines, but until he has the opportunity to get to know you face-to-face, he doesn't know anything for sure.
You must understand that being a father involves more than just providing money for your children's education or buying them gifts on their birthday. It also means giving them guidance and helping them learn from their mistakes. This man cannot do that if he has never met you before now.
So don't let another man become your father simply because he gives you money or takes care of you when you are sick. If he has never shown you any love or affection, then he isn't your father. You need someone who is capable of caring for you and directing you toward better decisions.
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