These suggestions were prompted by a reader's inquiry regarding her boyfriend's affair with his best female friend. "He spent a lot of time with her, but I didn't think anything of it since I trusted him," Miri writes in 10 Signs of a Bad Relationship. "I now know I should have questioned what he did during that time because it turned out she had an affair with him."
Miri's response to this question is pretty much the same as everyone else's: Trust but verify. Your boyfriend's behavior around his other girlfriend was likely different than how he acts around you, so verifying that this behavior is consistent with how he behaves toward you will help you determine whether or not you can trust him.
If your boyfriend has an affair and then tries to cover it up, it may be difficult for you to trust him. He could have been planning this action from the beginning or trying to hide another incident that occurred earlier. Regardless of why he engaged in this behavior, it's important for you to work through any negative feelings you have about it before moving on.
It may be hard to believe at first but your boyfriend probably felt the same way you do about the situation. He may have done something wrong but doesn't want to hurt your feelings so he's keeping quiet about his friend. Or perhaps he feels like he has no choice but to keep quiet because of some promise he made.
"I've heard numerous 'other women' warn me that revealing the girlfriend jeopardized their safety and emotional well-being," Avgitidis tells Elite Daily. Of course, many women have told me that they were relieved that someone had informed them about their boyfriend's cheating methods before they became engaged or married. Some even said that it gave them a chance to back out of the relationship if they decided that they wanted to keep things private.
However, some women feel like they were used when their partner broke up with them through text message. They say that they weren't given enough time to process the information, so it caused them great pain and confusion.
If you have found out that your boyfriend is cheating, then you should definitely tell him to stop immediately. If he doesn't listen then you should find another way to get his attention by telling him how much you care for him and how lonely you feel without him.
It is not recommended to reveal your partner's secrets, but in this case, you need to do what is best for you. If you are afraid that doing so will put you at risk, then seek professional help from a mental health counselor.
Simply said, as I explain in Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Guide to Saving Relationships for Men Cheating Caught: A deceived partner will respond with wrath, anxiety, begging, tears, vindictiveness, and almost any other powerful feeling or action. She may even jump from one remark to the next without notice. Her emotions are running high; she's not thinking clearly. If he tries to justify himself, then he has betrayed her trust yet again. There is no going back once you've been found out. You're in for a rough time ahead.
If you want to save your relationship, you have to understand what causes your girlfriend to flip out. She needs to know that you don't think ill of her for being human. She needs to feel like it's still possible to resolve your differences. She needs to believe that you can change.
You can only restore trust if you admit your part in the infidelity. You should never try to cover up your indiscretion. It won't work and it'll destroy your relationship even more. When she finds out, she needs to feel safe again.
She may accept all of this with a new sense of peace and security. Sometimes women need time to process things before they can move on. Give her time but don't push her.