While I've never done this because of a breakup, I can totally understand how it feels to have your heart shattered to the point that you want to change into another person to alleviate the agony. You become irritable, cynical, and a jaded ghost of a person. However, the most precious asset after a breakup is yourself. You need to believe in yourself again even though your ex didn't give you a chance to do so.
The best thing you can do for yourself after a breakup is to give yourself time to heal. Go through the motions of your life but don't do anything that will hurt yourself or others. Take care of your body by eating well and getting enough sleep. Make an effort to stay connected with friends and family members. These things will help you get over the loss more quickly.
If you've been separated from your ex for a long period of time and you both agree that breaking up is what's best, then do it. Don't try to force the issue if they just aren't right for each other. Although, in some cases, waiting until you're ready may be too late.
Going through a breakup may be extremely tough and stressful, and there is no right or wrong way to feel about it. You could even feel overwhelmed with emotions for a bit, but don't worry—this is quite natural. It's difficult to let go of someone you care about.
There are two types of feelings that come after breaking up with someone: relief and grief. Relief feels good because you're no longer dealing with the stress of trying to make something work with someone else. Grief is also natural; we lose people we love, and when they leave us, we feel sad. Knowing this information will help you understand why feeling these ways after a breakup is normal.
If you're feeling relieved, then you shouldn't worry about things you can't change. This includes telling yourself that your ex isn't thinking about you or showing them how much you missed them. If you've made the decision not to see your ex again, then you should follow through with it.
If you're feeling sad, then that's okay too. Everyone grieves in their own time frame, and it's normal to feel these ways for some length of time after a breakup. Remember that you aren't alone. Many other people have gone through what you're going through, and they know how you feel.
It's important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel about a breakup.
This is by far the most important aspect, because emotional anguish seeks the quickest and easiest—not always the best—solution. There may be an instant sensation of relief following a breakup. However, because relationships are multifaceted, additional emotions may surface later.
The heart feels pain because we care about someone enough to let them go. When they leave us, our hearts feel empty because we want to keep them that way. Even if the relationship was unhealthy, there's still a part of us that cares what happens to them. This is why breakups can cause such intense feelings: they reach into parts of ourselves that we didn't know existed.
The mind also has a role to play in this process. During times of stress, our brains release hormones that register danger and trigger our immune systems to fight off threats. The same thing happens when we experience a loss. Our brains interpret this loss as a threat, which causes them to release these hormones and activate our immune systems. This is why breakups can make us sick: they touch upon areas of our lives that we didn't know were vulnerable.
So what can you do to heal after a breakup? First, take some time to grieve. Let yourself feel sad and angry about the loss. Don't try to force yourself to feel something you don't want to feel; this only makes the process longer than it needs to be.
Here are some suggestions to help you cope and heal.