Your anguish and emotions of rejection rise up and burst forth in heartbreaking sobs. Your lover, on the other hand, seems unmoved by your feelings. He or she appears almost hardened to them, unconcerned that you are in pain and in need of compassion and tenderness. 4. During a quarrel, your partner appears indifferent. You feel rejected and hurt, but your lover isn't showing it. He or she remains cold and aloof.
The clue lies in how your partner reacts to your emotional displays. If he or she shows any sign of sympathy or empathy, then you know that you have found the right person. Otherwise, look for another partner who feels your pain.
However, this trait doesn't always indicate that your lover will remain constant. Some people just don't show their feelings. They may appear unemotional because they are trying to be mature and responsible or they may be hiding their own emotions due to past hurts.
In any case, if you want your love relationship to succeed, you must learn to open up to each other. Only then can you find comfort and security in each other's arms.
They objectify the emotion rather than embracing it as a feeling. They're distancing themselves from their feelings. If you're emotionally open, you may talk about your feelings as if they're something you're actively feeling. If your spouse is not emotionally available, this might be a source of concern for them. They might feel like you're trying to make them feel something they're not.
Spouses need time to process their feelings. If you can understand this, then talking about your feelings will not be a problem for you.
If your spouse shuts down when you try to discuss their feelings, this might be a sign that there is a problem between you. They may be feeling controlled or overwhelmed by you. You might want to consider seeing a counselor together. They could help you work through some of your issues around communication and intimacy.
Ask your spouse to join you in couple's counseling, where you may securely voice your worries about your partner's emotional detachment and your partner can explore or expose the reasons he or she is pulling away. Being emotionally separated from a partner does not always mean the end of a relationship. In fact, it can be very healing for both parties to go through this process together.
If your partner refuses to attend counseling with you, it might be time to rethink the nature of the relationship. You should never have to go looking for your mate's interest or participation. If you feel like your partner is avoiding you, it might be time to ask yourself why. Did he or she do something upsetting that you haven't talked about? Is there something your partner is feeling guilty about? If so, it might help him or her to work through these issues with you before trying to rebuild their self-confidence by being closer again.
Emotional detachment is a painful subject for any couple to deal with, but it can be healed if both partners are willing to work at it. Don't give up hope - even when your partner seems determined to leave you!
If your spouse says they don't have time to talk about what bothers, terrifies, or inspires you, consider whether this is part of a pattern. They are manipulating your emotions to keep you enslaved or "beaten down" if they want you to dwell in your grief or feel as if you are constantly running after them in order to connect.
Abusing your emotions is a way for your partner to control you. They view you as their property to use and abuse as they see fit. There are several signs that your partner is abusing your emotions including but not limited to:
Your needs aren't being met.
You're always waiting for them to change, but they never do.
You still love your spouse even though they treat you badly.
You stay with them even though they've given up on themselves and only care about themselves.
You'd think that someone who claims to love you would meet your needs without abusing your emotions. But since your partner cannot give you what you need (i.e., love and acceptance), they will find a way to get under your skin until you comply with their demands.
Your spouse is an imperfect human with flaws of their own. This person will occasionally fall short of expectations. It's plainly unfair to hold someone to this standard, but it appears to be something we do in our relationships on a regular basis. We must be capable of accepting responsibility for our feelings. If I am angry at my husband for not picking up the kids from school fast enough and he feels guilty about it, then we have gone over one of these issues. He should not be punished for my anger or frustration.
If you are feeling responsible for someone else's emotions, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. You cannot control another person's emotions, so it's best if you don't try. Let them feel what they need to feel and give them space when they don't feel like talking or see you as a priority. Sometimes we need to be left alone to deal with our issues head on.
Love is sacrifice. That doesn't mean that you should walk all over your spouse, but it does mean that you should be willing to make some sacrifices for the sake of the love you have for each other.
According to a new study, couples are bad at detecting whether their spouse is unhappy, lonely, or depressed. Couples are good at picking up on each other's more extreme sensations, such as happiness or rage, but they aren't as good at picking up on "soft negative" emotions. Soft negatives include sadness, loneliness, and boredom; these feelings can be difficult for others to express, so they often go unnoticed by those around them.
Couples tend to think that each other can read minds, which is not true. If your spouse is feeling sad or lonely, they probably don't want you to know about it. Sadness and loneliness are two different things - one is a physical state, the other is an emotional one. It's possible that your mate may want to talk about their loneliness or sadness, but if they don't even realize it themselves then how could you possibly help?
You cannot feel your partner's sadness just by looking at them. They might appear sad on the surface, but inside they could be happy or excited about something. You would need some kind of signal from your partner to know that they were feeling sad or lonely, such as them not talking much or seeming distracted sometimes when previously they had been interested in everything around them.
If you suspect that your partner is feeling down, it's important to ask them what's wrong.
When you feel this way, talk to your partner about it and consider whether you still want to be in a relationship with them. More articles may be found at Insider.com. It's common to feel as if you've suddenly lost feelings for your spouse in a relationship.
Because he can't feel anything, his relationship feels loveless. The difficulty is that the unconscious depressive has such a high emotional threshold that considerable stimulation is required to elicit enthusiasm and passion. He can erupt in hatred and anger because they are more aggressive emotions that fire him like nothing else.