If you've misled or deceived your spouse, he recommends saying "I'm sorry" and adding an explanation at the end to explain why you're sorry. "The humility and bravery required to speak these two words might enable your spouse hear and accept your confession."
Then make sure that you follow through on your apology by showing him or her some respect by changing your behavior toward them.
Loving someone means giving them our whole heart. When we lie or cover up our sins, we are only giving part of ourselves. We can't expect our spouses to trust us if we won't first prove that we trust them enough to tell the truth.
Make time later in the conversation to provide your spouse further information about why you lied. Ask how he or she feels about what happened.
Sincere apologies are due. If you lied, cheated, or otherwise undermined your partner's trust in you, a genuine apology is an excellent place to start making apologies. It's critical to admit you made a mistake. Just keep in mind that this is not the time to justify your behavior or explain the issue. Your apology should be focused on your partner and how you can fix the problem.
As for when to apologize: The sooner you start the process of forgiving and forgetting, the better. Lying about something this important doesn't just hurt your partner; it also hurts your relationship. So don't delay—start apologizing now.
Also note that you shouldn't have to apologize for your own actions. However, if you did something wrong, you should still say you're sorry even if your partner forgives you. This shows that you're willing to change and that you respect your partner enough to admit when you make a mistake.
Finally, know that forgiveness is a choice you make for yourself. It may help to think of it this way: You can refuse to forgive, or you can choose to let go of the past and move on. Either way, your partner needs to understand that you cannot be forced to forgive them.
The only person who can truly force you to forgive is yourself. But until you actually do, you won't be able to move forward with your life.
Your apology should be direct and honest.
For example: "I'm sorry I didn't call after what happened. I was wrong not to talk with you about it." "I understand why you're upset about the party. I take full responsibility for letting my emotions get the better of me." "I know I've put you through hell over this, and I don't want to add to that pain by being less than honest with you."
Once you've expressed regret for your actions and acknowledged the damage you have caused, you can work on repairing the relationship. Start by trying to understand how your partner felt during the incident. Was there provocation from you? If so, what could you have done differently to avoid the argument? Think carefully about what happened before you speak up next time. Avoid making the same mistake again!
Your partner may need some time to process all this information before responding. Give them space by waiting for them to reply. If they seem willing to discuss things further, then continue on from where you left off earlier. Otherwise, you both need to move forward with your lives unencumbered by the past.