If you're feeling claustrophobic in your marriage because your spouse is always breathing down your neck and making all of the decisions, there are some actions you may take to deal with his controlling behavior. It's difficult to deal with a control freak as a spouse. However, there are ways that you can try to overcome this problem.
Start by being aware of what makes your partner feel in control. If he feels like he has enough power over your life then he will use his control issues to maintain that sense of dominance.
Next, understand that even though he seems like the most reasonable person in the world, he isn't. He is using his mind to justify doing things that would otherwise be unacceptable. For example, if you tell him that you don't want to go see a movie tonight, he will come up with a reason why you should. It may be a good reason or not, but it will still make him feel in control.
Finally, realize that even though he is trying to keep you under his thumb, you have rights too. You have the right to feel safe and secure in your relationship, and if your husband is always abusing that privilege by having control issues, then you should consider getting out from under his shadow.
He was most likely always domineering during your marriage, and as a result of regression, he has gotten significantly worse. In these instances, the control freak is extremely worried, but he controls it by meticulously preparing everything so that he cannot fail. When things go wrong, he feels responsible and this pushes him over the edge.
She may not be aware of it, but the control freak in your marriage is definitely you. Your husband wants to lead his family successfully, and for this to happen, he needs your support. He may not say so, but the control freak in your marriage really wants to be treated with respect. He craves acknowledgment from you; he needs you to agree with him and follow his instructions.
If you recognize yourself in this description, then you need to know that there is hope for your marriage. You can have a healthy relationship with your control freak husband if you take the time to understand him. Only then will you be able to help him change for the better.
It starts with accepting who he is. Then, work on building up each other's self-esteem. Finally, make sure you communicate well enough to avoid arguments.
So, who is the control freak in your marriage? If you are the wife, then you are the control freak.
If your spouse's controlling conduct is abusive, attempt to remain cool and leave the house as quickly as possible. Set limits, leave the environment, and move to a safe location until your partner has regained control and obtained professional help.
Controlling people like to feel in charge. If you try to tell them what to do or how to think, they will only respond with more controlling behavior. In fact, it will only make them more angry and frustrated with you. The best way to deal with a control-freak spouse is by ignoring them. Don't engage them in arguments, don't share your feelings with them, and most of all, don't cave in.
Spouses of control freaks can learn to manipulate their own lives so that their partners cannot exert their influence over them. For example, if your husband or wife refuses to accept a lower salary, then find another job that pays better. Change jobs often to avoid becoming too dependent on one source of income.
Finally, seek counseling from an experienced therapist who can help you work through any emotional issues that may be causing your problem spouse to act out negatively. Therapy can also guide you toward different strategies for dealing with your partner that may have eluded you otherwise.
Are you attempting to repair your marriage after your spouse has told you that you are always controlling? How can you save a marriage when one spouse has left because of your domineering behavior? Hold on, and we'll get to the bottom of it. First, let's discuss what causes control people to act the way they do.
Control people are usually very responsible, hardworking individuals who just don't like change. If you are married to or have been married to a control person, then you know how they behave when you try to improve your relationship by changing something about yourself. They feel threatened by your desire to grow as a person and will do anything they can to keep you where you are so they don't have to deal with it.
If you are the control person in the relationship, you need to understand that your husband or wife doesn't want to hurt your feelings, so they will never admit that they are unhappy with things as they are. Instead, they will often criticize you in front of other people until you start to believe the lies that others tells you about yourself. Then, you begin to think that there is something wrong with you for not measuring up to other people's expectations.
It is important for control people to feel important and worthwhile. Otherwise, they would simply go out and find another control person to take care of.