"The No Contact rule states that you should not call, text, or message an ex following the split. It includes avoiding discussing them or the split with their friends or family "Lee Wilson, a dating and breakup therapist, states that this is a great way to get back at them for breaking your heart-and avoid any consequences that may come from doing so.
If you really want to get back at them for breaking up with you, then this is an effective way to do it. However, if you feel like they're still important to you, then there's no need to be mean. Just focus on the fact that you two weren't meant to be together and move on with your life.
Calling or messaging someone without their permission can be considered harassment under federal law. If you do this repeatedly, it can also lead to you getting in trouble with the police. Although revenge texting or calling may give you a small sense of satisfaction, it can also cause them emotional pain that could last long after you send/send off your messages/calls.
It's best to leave them alone unless you want to stay connected with them. There are other ways to get back at someone else for breaking up with you, such as sending them harassing texts or calls, which we discuss below.
Unless you've texted, called, or emailed your ex for the whole year you've been separated, you've already done your own version of no contact. The no-contact rule is about time as much as it is about cutting off your ex after a split. If they think there's a chance they might get back together, they will do everything in their power to make that happen. No matter how hard you try to stay away from each other, the reality is that you were once part of a relationship and there's a good chance that you'll be drawn back in.
As soon as you break the no-contact rule and reach out to your ex, even if it's just to say goodbye, you've given them permission to do the same. It's not enough to simply cut them out of your life; you have to prevent them from coming into yours too.
There are two main reasons why someone would want to call or email your ex after you broke up with them: either to find out what happened or because they're trying to convince you to change your mind and go back together. It's best not to take any of these calls or messages seriously, but instead, to simply block them out. Even if they are nice enough to leave you a voicemail or email, you shouldn't respond.
It is the most frequently advised approach following a breakup. So, what is a "no touch" rule? The no contact rule is essentially a period of time (usually 21–45 days) during which you will ignore your ex in order to make them miss you while focusing on hitting the reset button for yourself by improving your life. This period of time can be extended if needed.
The goal here is to make your ex miss you and want back into your life. If they do not feel this way within these first few months then we have gone too far in destroying our ex's new relationship.
There are many theories as to why maintaining a break up can help repair the damage. Some believe that acting like nothing has changed helps the ex-partner see that you are still committed to moving forward with your life. They also think that keeping a break up going makes it easier to forget about their mistakes and focus on their shortcomings instead.
Of course, there are other schools of thought out there. Some people say that breaking up is hard to do so let it remain that way. You should never force someone else's hand in any relationship whether it be romantic or friendly. If you realize that you need to end things then do so respectfully. It is always better to be safe than sorry.
Finally, there are those who believe that breaking up is a sign of weakness and trying to keep a break up going proves that you are unable to face reality.
In my opinion, every individual going through a breakup should always seek to start with the 30 day no contact rule. This is the normal time frame that most people suggest. When you first implement a no-contact rule, you often have no clue how successful it will be on your ex. For this reason, I recommend sticking with it for at least 30 days.
If he doesn't call by then, what's next? After 30 days, if he hasn't called you yet, I would say it's time to move on. You haven't heard from him in over 30 days, which means there's a good chance he hasn't thought about you in that same time period. If you've still got feelings for him, then you're just wasting your time here trying to get back together.
It's important to note that this doesn't mean that he can't ever change his mind about the break up. It's possible that he might realize he made a mistake and want to get back together. However, unless he shows an interest in getting back together before you break up for good, there's no point in keeping the relationship alive.
He might need some time to work things out of his system. In some cases, an individual will enter a breakup stuck in a cycle of depression. They may feel like they can't go on because they don't see any hope for their future with the other person.
If you believe you satisfy the criteria for breaking the no-contact rule and answering your ex's phone calls, remember to stay calm and positive on the phone with him. Avoid discussing the breakup, and try to conclude the call on a good note, just like you would with a text message chat. He may be feeling sad or rejected and looking for another chance with you. However, this doesn't mean that he is ready to get back together yet.
It's best not to take his calls unless it's an emergency. If you feel like you need to talk, have a preplanned conversation with your friend where you can express yourself without worrying about hurting his feelings. Only then should you answer the phone. You should also refrain from calling him until you've moved on and are free to talk again.
Even though the approaches differ, one thing is always true in all of the advice pieces out there: Do not contact your ex after a split. Avoiding an ex completely involves cutting off a key emotional lifeline, which is often the most painful element of a separation. 1396 AP, Bahman 2. In order to move on from someone who has hurt you, it's important that you do not try to get in touch with them.
If you really want to get back at your ex, then the best way to do so is by contacting someone else they care about. This could be a friend or family member, but it should be done carefully so as not to cause more pain between you. If you do reach out to your ex, make sure you have no other intentions than to let them know what you've been up to and maybe even give them some comfort in their time of need.
Contacting an ex after a breakup can sometimes help you both move on, but only if you handle the situation wisely. If you go about it the wrong way, then all it will do is cause more pain for you both. It's best to leave them alone until they want to talk to you. That's how relationships grow back together!