The listening difficulty in your marriage might be connected to your spouse's difficulties, your way of delivery, or a mix of the two. You may be taking too long to express yourself. Long-winded monologues are tedious. Let's get to the point. You could dominate talks with your partner. Allow your spouse the opportunity to speak.
If you tend to talk more than listen, try doing the other way around for a change. Talk less and listen more. This will allow your partner the chance to feel important and heard.
You may not realize it, but people look up to you. They expect you to know what you're talking about, so be sure to prepare thoroughly. Don't just ramble on incoherently without any connection between topics. This makes your spouse wonder if they're even relevant to your conversation.
Finally, avoid texting while driving. It is very dangerous! If you must text, use a hands-free device. Better yet, leave the room for a few minutes so you don't disturb anyone around you.
Listening is probably the most important factor in a successful marriage. Without good listening, there is no communication. So go ahead and solve your "listening problem". After all, who knows maybe it'll help your marriage too!
Poor listening skills are the leading cause of marital communication issues. If one of you doesn't feel heard or validated, or if you don't comprehend what the other is saying, irritation and misunderstandings are bound to ensue. Why not attempt active listening instead of waiting your turn to speak? Active listening involves paying attention to what others are saying and showing an interest in them even though you have your own thoughts and feelings. This type of listening helps people communicate their ideas and feelings more effectively.
Another cause of communication problems in marriages is the lack of respect each party has for the other's opinions and feelings. Someone must be the first to say "I love you" in a relationship, because once that person gets used to receiving these words, they aren't going to stop doing so. Similarly, it's important to understand that when someone tells you they hate something about you, it's because they care enough to tell you. Never withhold such expressions of affection or trust from your spouse; do so at your peril!
Finally, communication problems in marriages result from differences in opinion. Two people who agree on most things will still have trouble communicating with one another if one of them has different values or beliefs than the other. It may be difficult for your spouse to understand your need to go out with your friends after you've been married for a while, but unless they bring this up with you, you have no way of knowing why they feel the way they do.
When your partner is weary, stressed out, concerned with other ideas, in a hurry, or involved with something else, he or she is unlikely to listen carefully. Inform your spouse that you want to discuss and inquire about a suitable time. Respect your spouse's decision and schedule another time. If they refuse then you know there is no changing their mind once they have made up their mind.
Your husband or wife isn't listening to you because:
He/she is too tired or busy. When you call his or her attention to what you have to say, be sure to do so when they are not exhausted or distracted. Make sure that you say it loudly so that they will hear you.
You don't seem important to him/her. Men tend to be more focused on tasks at hand than talking with their partners about non-essential matters. If you cannot make space in your husband's life to talk about important things like faith and family, why would he expect to get such time from you?
It's none of your business what he/she does or doesn't listen to. Your husband or wife has the right to privacy, even if you're married for many years. You shouldn't eavesdrop on your spouse's conversations but if he/she says something in private that makes them uncomfortable or embarrassing, it would help them feel better if you didn't repeat it.
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